The Wii-G: A Wii from the Dark Side

Why plan to plunk a plain `ol Wii under the tree or by the menorah when you can get a near-nefarious version for the spiritually irresponsible loved one in your life? Nintendo insiders have revealed a new version of their popular console: the Wii-G combines hip wireless video gaming with a creepy means to contact the “other side.”

I met with one mystic scientist who would agree to speak only under condition of strict anonymity.  He explained how it works: “Once the game begins, the wireless remote will seem to move your arm of its own accord, pointing to the letters and words on the on-screen game board.”

I had to ask the obvious question. “Since it’s on a screen, why point to anything at all? Why not allow the spirits to simply magically place the messages right on the television?”

“We did create a version like that,” the scientist explained, “but instead of answering our questions it kept typing up teleplays for unaired episodes of Charmed. So back to pointing it was.”

The Wii-G is only available from the following stores: Everything Under A Pentagram; Ambercrombie & Crowley; Cauldrons-a-Million; and select Wal-Marts.